Change can feel like an icy walkway. You want to go to the other side because you have an intriguing, inspiring destination but you can't tell what's around the corner so you turn around and go back the other way.
I've been there!
I actually did walk across this icy mess from the other direction. In retrospect it probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done and I wouldn't recommend it for you, but I would have missed the part of the trail I love. So I decided to go for it. When I reached the other side it was such a great feeing.
I had arrived - I was safe - I kept my head above water (literally)
If I had fallen I would have learned something entirely different.
Find a different path - Start again - Stay focused
Ok, don't cross the silly icy path. Look for the right path in the first place. Some things are going to happen by chance and some by choice. If you don't keep moving forward you'll end up back where you started, over and over again, creating the same kind of stress you've always created.
Put your big girl/boy pants on and get outside your comfort zone.
The seven necessities of a successful business:
The power of practice is beyond measure!
I'm a recovering perfectionist. I always have a desire to do better, do more, be more. When she pays me a visit, I know I need a little more self-love and to accept what was and what is. I need to be more of me and less of my (perfect) expectations.
The first time someone called me the P word, I was shocked. I am laid back, fun and introspective. I take responsibility for my life, but perfectionist! Never LOL
As you've heard me say before.
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, give up being perfect or right.
There is more truth here than you can imagine. Take it to heart today. If you give up your inner perfectionist, practice living according to who you want to be, and stay aligned with your values and desires, you can create a magical world. A world filled with acceptance and joy, peace and prosperity, and you making happy, healthy choices.
When you change, the world steps up to meet you.
The question I am most often asked is - HOW?
Commit and Practice
Accept what is!
It seems so rudimentary but I promise you, this is the key to you being happy and to making the changes that will bring you more joy, peace and prosperity.
If you accept where you are, where you want to go will follow. Seriously, you can't know where you want to go without knowing where you are!
Sometimes I get thinking so hard about where I am going that I forget to be where I am. I start feeling stressed and doing more. And then the gentle nudge of presence moves in and I say to myself - Where am I now and what is my next right action? I breathe, I look around, I understand, I move forward with alignment.
I remember that this moment is the only one I have. Because I accept where I am, I know what I want to change, and consequently where I want to go. I stay focused and I LOVE MY LIFE, just as it is.
Stress is caused by the desire to be somewhere other than you are
There are lots of distractions in life. Money, health, relationships, family? Pick one or all of them. We all face challenges along the way. How we react to them makes the difference.
Do you react with ease and presence or stress and overwhelm? Let me know.
Expect the unexpected and you will get the unexpected!
How often do you feel the winds of change and as the breeze wafts by, forget to look toward the opportunity?
I love change. So much so that I often long to change location. Recently my husband and I moved to the place we plan on staying. We have moved so many times that my programed brain is saying - where to next! We love it here in Saratoga Springs and don't plan on going anywhere. After thirteen moves in fifteen years, it's a habit thought.
If my mind is preoccupied with the next move it will be especially difficult to listen to the silent wind of my inner being and guidance. All of us can mistake a programmed craving or habit for an inspiration.
An inspiration feels new. If I am committed to staying in one place and I keep entertaining my mind when it says - let's move, I have little space for being present. So I ask myself, what do I want that is connected to living here for a long time?
Are you stuck in a cycle? Are you missing out on the life you are meant to live? What questions do you need to ask yourself?
Change is about forward movement. Going around in circles thinking you're creating something new is something else. Looking forward is awesome. It's also necessary if you want to have a fulfilling and joyous life.
There are three components to change. Your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. If you want positive change you will have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Change is a process and you must be committed to it long term. It could take a day, week, month, year or more.
You didn't get where you are in a minute,
you will not change in a minute!
Get clear on what you want. Not what you think you can have, not some small version of what's possible. What you really want.
Your thoughts trigger your emotions and your emotions trigger your thoughts.
Thoughts: Notice them
Emotions: Feel them
Behaviors: Change them
I'm not saying it's easy. It takes enormous commitment to do and feel the things you haven't done before.
Every change you want is entirely up to you. No one else on this planet can take the discomfort or the joy away from you.
Someone once told me I help people live up to their full potential, more importantly I am committed to living up to my own potential.
You deserve a happy life. If you are not happy, what are you waiting for? Are you ready to live up to your full potential?
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Remember you are loved, you are beautiful, you are amazing! Karen
A couple of years ago when walking in the park, a hawk landed in a tree just above me. I felt the urge and asked, do you have a message for me? I closed my eyes, I listened and I heard - Blue Water Standing Still - Immediately I felt a sense of calm, beauty and the power of being still.
I use these words when my mind is spinning.
I see a beautiful image and I have an immediate sense of peace.
Yes, my mind spins and all to often!
Follow your own path & Listen to your inner being
Start listening today and enjoy the mystery of a life well lived
I've got my share of crappy stories just like you and the world doesn't wait while you're dealing with it.
So you might as well embrace it!
Here are a few tools to help you manage the Chaos of life.
If you worry about hurt feelings or the people in your life being unhappy - make today the day you dare to Say No. Say NOto what you don't want and YES to happiness by taking charge of your life.
It's all an opportunity
Look at everything in your life as an opportunity and don't take it personally. It's not your fault, it's not my fault, it's not their fault. We are all doing our best even when it seems like we could do way better.
Be organized and intentional
Have a clear schedule for yourself. If you are a business entrepreneur like me and you don't have a schedule, your business will most likely fall apart when chaos appears at your doorstep. A number of years ago I had a health crisis and because I had everything in place, my business continued to grow in spite of my circumstances.
Know yourself well
The first thing you need to know is you! What you want, what you like, what you don't like, what's next, what trips you up and how to deal with it.
If it's not working do something different!
Making changes (even little ones) will enable you to -
How are you wired?
Are you a fidgeter like me? Is your tendency to be the kind of still that makes you lazy and unproductive, or maybe you push to the point of exhaustion. Whatever your innate style is, the important thing is to notice and help yourself toward creating focused success.
Since I started my coaching practice in 2009, I have spent a lot of time sitting and it doesn't really suit me. I'm fidgety. So I thought I would create a makeshift standing desk before I buy one, and it's working.
I get to move a bit while still doing my work. I actually feel better too. I have more energy and can concentrate for much longer times. I also use my kneeling chair and the table that's next to me when it's time to sit for a spell.
Part of my - stop fidgeting - practice is to not move for at least five minutes during my morning meditation. I've noticed my stillness has helped me with being less impulsive and I am grateful. It's hard to slow my brain and body down. I'm simply wired that way.
1. Fidgeters: You need to learn to stay focused.
The trick is to keep remembering to practice this practice!
You have to make adjustments in how you do things in order to make the changes you desire.
I've changed a lot over the last couple of years. A move to Seattle, a year long marketing program (I was the student) that didn't work at all for me and actually set me back big time, and a recent decision to finally settle down in one place.
Part of our goal has been to experience ourselves in powerful ways and we have. We have been brave enough to try things that didn't work and still keep going.
Just because something doesn't work out doesn't mean it's wrong. Are you brave enough to try? To feel uncomfortable? To embrace change?
I love my life and it's because I've experienced so many beautiful and challenging things, and I've embraced them all. There is a gift in everything if you are willing to look for it.
We are all changing every day. What's important about change? It takes courage. It takes heart to follow your own path, especially the one that scares you.
Change comes with small persistent focus. Are you focusing on what's great in your life or what sucks? There's always going to be crappy stuff, it's really a matter of how you interpret it and your willingness to embrace it all.
One thing I am absolutely clear about is - the only way to move toward what you want is to accept what was, what is and to take steps toward what's next.
Make acceptance a Life Long Practice.
Your assignment for today -
Today I went for a walk by the water. It was another beautiful day here in Seattle.
As usual there were lots of dogs walking their people.
I noticed one puppy with its brand new family. They were full of smiles, laughter and happiness. I knew the puppy would remain happy and present, and I wondered if the family would...
Could they maintain their sense of wonder for their new family member?
Staying present to the constant gifts in life, (including a new puppy), can be challenging. Here are a cuple of ways to stay present and focused on the coolness of being alive.
Why does this matter? Because you matter, your life matters, your gifts matter!!!
Be centered and present and fully enjoy the magic of being the unique, gifted, amazing you...
Karen Carey is a life coach and speaker who is devoted to you having the life you don’t think is possible